I Showed Anyway

Okay so I've been in my head lately. Like bad.

Not bad bad. Just… a lot. I'm trying to grow my business, stay on top of my finances, show up at work like I'm not tired, be present for my kids — and somewhere in all of that I'm also up at 2am thinking about new product ideas like that's normal. Everything inspires me. A candle. A color. A song. I'll be in the shower and suddenly I have a whole collection mapped out in my head.

But I'm also exhausted. Like deeply, in my bones exhausted.

And the wild part? Both of those things are true at the same time. I'm excited AND I'm running on fumes. I'm motivated AND I can't finish a thought. I'm so focused that I'm not focused. You ever been there? Like you're doing the most and somehow still feel stuck?

That's where I'm at right now.

Anyway. Last week I did two markets.

And I'm not gonna sit here and make it sound cute because it wasn't fully cute. I'm not as people-y as I used to be. I don't know when that happened. Somewhere between everything I've been through I just… got quieter in crowds. Like the energy it takes to be "on" around strangers is a whole thing now. It's a lot.

And I live in Iowa. Which — listen. I love my life. But finding my people out here is genuinely hard sometimes. I'm loud about what I believe. I'm a whole Black woman with a small 4c fro, a Black husband, Black kids, and a business with "Ass" in the name lol. I don't blend. I don't try to. And sometimes I walk into spaces and I'm already doing the math in my head. Like okay, who in here is finna try me today?!

That's not paranoia. That's just life when you look like me in certain spaces.

So yeah. I was nervous. A little anxious. Not fully in my body if I'm being honest.

Somebody asked me what I wish I'd known going in. Like what advice would've helped.

And I really sat with that.

Nothing. I don't think anything would've helped.

Not because there's nothing to know — but because you can't think your way through that kind of thing. You just gotta go. Uncomfortable and tired and not fully ready and just… go anyway.

So I set up my booth. Twice. I talked to people. I sold stuff I made with my own two hands. I was myself the whole time, even when it was uncomfortable.

I showed anyway.

That's really it. That's the whole post lol.

I don't have some big lesson for you. I'm still figuring it out. Still tired. Still dreaming too big for my sleep schedule. Still showing up anyway.

If you're in that same weird in-between right now — exhausted but not ready to stop, scared but still moving — I just want you to know I see you.

Keep going sis. Show anyway.

Next market, August 8th. Marion Ia. Location will be shared in a couple weeks.

---

Love Always,

Your Favorite Craftin Ass Blk Grl ✨️ 🫶🏿